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Episode 79! Everybody faces fear, it’s a matter of how you deal with it and move past it that matters. That’s what I discuss with Jacqueline Wales in this episode.
What is Fear?
Jacqueline believes that fear is imagination based. There are a lot of reasons why we can feel threatened in life, but fears are often just a story we tell ourselves to deal with discomfort. Fear is just an emotion, it’s not real. Unless you have tangible evidence, fear is just a story that you’re applying to a feeling that may or may not be true for you.
What is the fear of failure and how does it come up? The fear of failure is really tied into reputation status. It’s how other people will perceive you if you fail at something. Failure is a choice, decision or expectation that did not go the way you had planned. People who are perfectionists do not want to fail; they do not want to make mistakes. The fear of failure is so profound for some people because it says something about me, I’m not good enough. That fundamentally is where fear shows up, that insecurity of self.
Moving Past Fear
How can you get over the fear of failure? What can you do to solve that big problem? First, take a hard look at “what’s the worst thing that could happen if this doesn’t go the way that I had planned?” “Will we recover?” is the biggest question on failure. Can you recover from it? Often the answer is a resounding yes. You make a mistake, you fix it, you move on. Failure is simply the acceptance of things that will go wrong. It’s all about what you do with it when it goes wrong, that’s the gift that you give yourself.
People want to talk about something called imposter syndrome. Jacqueline believes that term is misused most of the time because fundamentally it’s about self-doubt. That can become the story that becomes the major driver of their life – “I’m not capable, I’m not good enough, I’m not deserving” and so on. Those stories are not true. If we care to analyze them and reflect on “Why am I carrying this story?” Nine times out of ten it’s a negative voice from a previous experience; someone somewhere told you that you weren’t good enough, i.e., you will fail.
How can you fix that? Set a future ambition that says “I KNOW that I can reach my goals. I don’t know how I’m going to reach them, but I will reach them” Then tell yourself a new story and move past fear.
We also discuss:
- How to get rid of the negative voices in your head.
- How to build confidence that will take you forward in a positive way.
- What the fear of success really is and how to overcome it.
- The brain chemistry that creates fear and how to deal with it.
- …and more golden nuggets of advice!
You can get my book “Idea Climbing: How to Create a Support System for Your Next Big Idea” here!
About The Guest
At only sixteen years old, Jacqueline Wales fled from her childhood home in a desperate search for happiness. Looking in all the wrong places, she left a trail of abandoned children and a pattern of self abuse that threatened her life.
But that’s just the beginning of her story. From Leith, Scotland, to London, England; from the California coast to Paris, Amsterdam, New York, and Bali, Jacqueline’s life has been a journey of self-discovery, awakening, and joy in the face of fear.
Jacqueline believes that being fearless is not the absence of fear, but the courage to take the next step. Today, Jacqueline is an author, keynote speaker, and trusted advisor to successful, high-achieving women.
And she is an unwavering champion for being fearless.
Connect with Jacqueline on LinkedIn here!
Learn more about Jacqueline here!
