Many people LOVE the concept of mentoring. Not many people understand HOW to create mentoring relationships or what they are. It’s a grey area. Is it having coffee once a month to share life experiences? Is it the wise elder imparting decades of knowledge to the young up-and-comer?

Think about it. What questions do YOU have about mentoring?

January is National Mentoring Month; if you’re newer to mentoring (or just wondering and still sitting on the sidelines) January is the perfect opportunity to learn more or get into the mentoring space. How?

Just ask!

Let’s start by looking at…

WHAT NOT TO ASK

After 15 years of interviewing amazing people about their mentoring experiences one of the most common responses to “What SHOULDN’T you do when searching for a mentor?” is “ DON’T immediately ask someone to become your mentor.” Why?

Until you get to know someone you don’t know if there’s a personality fit, if they have the life experiences that will help solve the problems you’re facing or to create the opportunities you want to create. It also creates an immediate weight of responsibility. We just met – and you want me to commit to what? It’s definitely a compliment; just don’t rush into things. (That’s the business version of asking someone to get engaged on the first date. Nice thought but… Awkward).

Now let’s look at…

WHAT TO ASK

For mentoring in general throughout the year ask for help with ONE specific problem first. Listen to the advice, go DO SOMETHING with that advice and then report back with your results. Repeat when possible.

But this is National Mentoring Month – let’s talk about that great opportunity you have to learn more if you’re new to mentoring.

Do something different. DON’T ask for help. Yes, completely counterintuitive to mentoring, I know. DO ask someone else what their mentoring experiences have been. How did they find mentors? What did they talk about once they found them? What other mentoring experiences can they share?

Then listen.

This will put you ahead of the game this year. You’ll have new ways to create mentoring relationships based on real world, been-there-done-that experiences. You’ll start to demystify mentoring for yourself. You’ll create more mentoring opportunities for yourself; and in the long run you’ll create more mentoring opportunities for others.

So now you might be wondering…

WHO TO ASK

Think of the people currently in your network, of course. And, because it’s National Mentoring Month you’ve got an ice breaker to conversations with virtually anyone else about mentoring. You’ve got a lot more online resources talking about mentoring to point you towards new people to ask.

Here’s a quick list to start your brainstorming. You could reach out to:

  • People writing about mentoring.  If they’re writing about it  they’re passionate about  it and probably open to talking about mentoring.
  • People being interviewed in the media. Google “National Mentoring Month 2015” and get to work. Search for “National Mentoring Month” on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.
  • People involved with companies, professional organizations and nonprofits that are running mentoring programs.

KEY POINT: When you reach out to people in the media you’re telling them something along the lines of “It’s National Mentoring Month and I’m new to mentoring; there’s a lot to learn. I read (the name of article and where you saw it) and you seem to have some great experiences. Can we set up a time to talk for 15 or 20 minutes about your experiences?”

KEY POINT II: You’re only asking for 15-20 minutes. Respect their time; don’t leave it open to “setting up a phone call” or “having a cup of coffee”; if more conversations or meeting happen later, great. Right now you need to learn.

That will put you on the path to discovering HOW to create mentoring relationships and understanding what they are.

Who will YOU reach out to today?